Happy Birthday - ADHD Marriage Comic

First off, this post is dedicated to my ADHD spouse since his birthday is coming up. Looking back on another good year together, I realized that he is truly more forgiving than I am, especially when I mess things up. These light bulb moments used to come very infrequently because I was only seeing his faults and errors. Now, it is the reverse because I realized how critical I was of him when he was trying his hardest in our marriage. The challenge was around whether I was willing to truly see the effort he was putting in.

What helped me undo my bad habit of being so critical and only seeing his faults and errors was simply asking him to share little progress he made with me. The more he shared, like get took care of a chore, complete a professional milestone, got another gig, etc., the more it helped me overcome my assumption that he couldn't do anything right and instead see that he was trying and making changes. Once he shared, I simply thanked him for his effort. This really took us about 4-6 weeks of practice before things started changing for us. We became less standoffish, started appreciating each other more, and our relationship got better and better.

How do you recognize and appreciate the efforts your ADHD spouse makes in your relationship? Share your experiences and tips below so others who are looking for solutions could learn from you, too!