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Writer's pictureNon-ADHD Spouse

Love and ADHD: Unveiling the Financial Realities in Your Marriage


Did I get your attention? Understanding the financial aspect of ADHD is a critical component of a healthy and harmonious marriage. Why? Because finances play a pivotal role in every partnership. To put it into perspective, let's consider this startling fact: over a 30-year period, the cost of treating and managing ADHD can potentially add up to a staggering one million dollars for your ADHD Spouse. That could be enough for many people's retirement fund. How is this possible? Let's break it down.


The Million-Dollar Price Tag


According to a study published in the Journal of Managed Care & Specialty Pharmacy, the total societal excess cost attributable to ADHD is a staggering $122.8 billion, which equates to approximately $14,092 per adult, annually. This substantial cost includes components like unemployment, productivity loss, and healthcare services. You can find more details about this study here.


To comprehend the magnitude of the financial challenge posed by ADHD, let's do the math. We'll use the study's annual cost, multiply it by 30 years, and factor in a 5% compound interest rate. The result is a jaw-dropping one million dollars. This figure is not just a number; it represents the potential financial strain that ADHD can place on your marriage, especially when ADHD is not treated or managed at all.


The Domino Effect on Your Marriage


These additional costs due to ADHD can trigger various challenges and issues in your marriage, with real-life consequences:

  1. Financial Strain: The constant financial demands of medication, therapy, and impulsive spending can create tension in your marriage. Non-ADHD spouses may feel overwhelmed, leading to arguments and stress.

  2. Emotional Toll: The strain of dealing with unmanaged ADHD can result in emotional exhaustion. Both partners may require therapy or counseling to navigate the challenges, which comes at an additional cost.

  3. Communication Breakdown: The emotional and financial stress can disrupt communication in your marriage. This can lead to misunderstandings, a lack of trust, and even separation or divorce.


Taking Action: Your Path Forward


Finance is not the primary reason why people choose to get married. It's about love, companionship, and a shared journey through life. While it's crucial to understand the financial aspects of ADHD in your marriage, always keep in mind that your decision to marry was grounded in love and a deep connection with your partner. Yes, there is an excess cost associated with ADHD, but that should never overshadow the fact that you chose to share your life with someone because you care deeply for them.


Now that you're aware of the potential financial and emotional costs associated with unmanaged ADHD in your marriage, it's time to take action. Remember, you have the power to change the course of your relationship and mitigate these challenges. Here's what both spouses can do:

  1. Open Dialogue: Initiate an open and empathetic conversation with your partner about managing ADHD effectively. Discuss your concerns and the steps you both can take to address them.

  2. Seek Professional Help: Consider consulting with healthcare professionals who specialize in ADHD treatment. Medication, therapy, and coaching can make a significant difference in managing ADHD symptoms.

  3. Budgeting and Planning: Incorporate ADHD-related expenses into your monthly budget. This proactive approach can help you manage your finances effectively and minimize unexpected financial stress.

  4. Support and Understanding: Remember that you're a team. Both partners must support each other in this journey. Educate yourselves about ADHD, attend therapy or support groups together, and build a deeper understanding of each other's challenges and strengths.

By taking proactive steps, both non-ADHD and ADHD spouses can work together to navigate the challenges and build a stronger, more resilient marriage. The financial and emotional investments you make in effective ADHD management will lead to a happier and more stable future together. Don't let unmanaged ADHD derail your relationship when there are viable solutions at your fingertips.


Jeff Schein, Lenard A Adler, Ann Childress, Patrick Gagnon-Sanschagrin, Mikhaïl Davidson, Frédéric Kinkead, Martin Cloutier, Annie Guérin, and Patrick Lefebvre

Journal of Managed Care & Specialty Pharmacy202228:2, 168-179

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