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In the realm of ADHD marriages, finding a dedicated space for non-ADHD spouses to connect and support each other on just ADHD marriage is hard. Many support groups I have attended focus on children or the people with ADHD. While they welcome Non-ADHD spouses, it is not an ideal location to talk about challenges that non-ADHD partners encounter. Non-ADHD support groups are rare, and Melissa Orlov's Non-ADHD Partner Support Group stands out as a beacon of understanding and shared experiences.
Who is Melissa Orlov?
Melissa Orlov, a recognized author and expert in adult ADHD, focuses on relationships and marriages. Her books, including "The ADHD Effect on Marriage" and "The Couple's Guide to Thriving with ADHD," offer valuable insights, strategies, and support for couples grappling with ADHD-related challenges. You can find my other blog posts on her books and courses by clicking HERE.
How is this support group is different from the others?
Melissa Orlov's Non-ADHD Partner Support Groups offer a unique haven for non-ADHD spouses. This seven-week-long virtual 1-hour gathering, led by Melissa or her trusted ADHD marriage experts, is exclusively tailored for individuals navigating the intricacies of ADHD marriages. Unlike general support groups, the focus here is razor-sharp – ADHD marriages, and nothing else. Each week, the support group members vote on a topic (i.e. house chores division, strategies to decide when and how to react/not react to an ADHD spouse, loneliness, forgiveness/acceptance, lying, etc.) they want to discuss, and the ADHD marriage expert facilitates the discussion. The group never exceeds 10 people, so everyone gets a chance to share each session.
Why should other non-ADHD spouses consider joining this support group?
I have been through my rounds of non-ADHD online communities and standard ADHD support groups, and having personally attended this non-ADHD partner support group (I got lucky and found an available spot with a group led by Melissa herself), I can attest to its invaluable impact. While I value these non-ADHD online communities, it can't beat a live experience where you can interact with other non-ADHD spouses and get immediate responses. Many of them are not ready to give up and still trying to find ways to improve their own ADHD marriage, which is important to me because this is a shared goal for me.
Here are the 3 reasons why any non-ADHD spouse should consider joining this support group, regardless of what stage of your ADHD marriage journey or if you have read or attended Melissa's book or courses:
Reason 1: Meet with other non-ADHD spouses
This support group is an opportunity to connect live with individuals who share similar experiences. Building connections with others in similar situations fosters a sense of camaraderie and mutual understanding. For example, in my support group, as soon as someone shares a challenge, it always resonates with the rest of the group because a majority of us have been through the same challenge. In one session, a group member shared the challenges of her ADHD spouse doing laundry, where it takes hours for the spouse to complete folding and putting away the clothes, and that drove her nuts. The rest of us immediately nodded our heads because we have dealt with the same challenge. As we take turns, some shared their frustrations on other household chores and others shared their success stories on how they were successful at getting their ADHD spouse to accomplish specific chores.
Reason 2: Safe Environment to discuss topics relevant for non-ADHD spouses
Because we have been through similar challenges, the support group truly offers a secure and supportive environment. It encourages open and candid discussions on topics specifically relevant to non-ADHD spouses. This safe space allows members to share what is truly happening in their relationship without sugar coating, sometimes even with our closest friends. It's kind of like visiting Las Vegas, what says in the support group, stays in the support group.
Furthermore, since the discussion is led by an ADHD marriage expert, they can pinpoint underlying emotions much better than a non-ADHD spouse because they often look at it more objectively and they have seen and hard more from other non-ADHD spouses. In some of the discussions, Melissa pinpointed my underlying emotions when I was lost for words. Because of that guidance, it really led me down a new path of thinking about my struggles with ADHD marriage challenges and helped me open up to different ways to solve challenges instead of trying the same thing over and over again.
Reason 3: Part of Self-Care
Attending this support group is not just about addressing challenges; it's a crucial aspect of self-care for non-ADHD spouses. Taking the time to engage with a community that understands your journey provides emotional nourishment and empowerment, contributing to overall well-being. It provides a safe space to share deep thoughts and details that one might hesitate to divulge even to their closest friends. Once each support group session is over, I feel a sense of relief that I never felt before. It really felt like some weight has been lifted from my shoulders, providing a new surge of energy to try differently to improve my ADHD marriages.
Conclusion:
In a previous blog, I talked about how my ADHD spouse's former psychiatrist's advice to me is to get support for myself. At that time, I didn't know what it truly meant. Now that I have been in Melissa's support group, I truly understand how joining a support group like this should be part of my self-care routine because it adds positivity and clarity to my thoughts and emotions towards my ADHD marriage, one of the ways to combat stress caused by an ADHD marriage.
Regardless of whether you have attended Melissa's Couples Seminar or have read her books or not, I highly recommend non-ADHD spouses at any stage of their ADHD marriage journey to check out one of Melissa's support groups for yourself. The next non-ADHD support group is starting in January and only a few spots left. Check it out Now!
If you have attended one of Melissa's support groups, let us know your thoughts by commenting below.
Support Group Details:
Cost: $259 (prices for 2024, 1st group starts on Jan 7, 2024)
Total sessions: 7, 1 session a week, Multiple group sessions between Sunday -Thursday
Medium: Zoom
Health Insurance reimbursement: Not Applicable
Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
Find all her upcoming support group sessions our events calendar: here
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