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In the hustle and bustle of daily life, maintaining motivation can be a challenge for anyone. For those navigating the intricacies of an ADHD marriage, this challenge can be even more pronounced. As a non-ADHD spouse, I know that first hand. Today, i walk you through my personal journey on why I created the ADHD couple's calendar to help others who are in the same journey.
Unveiling Activator and Arranger Strength
Reflecting on my journey, I've always possessed strong organizational and planning skills. This became evident when I undertook the Gallup®, a popular talent assessment, it revealed that two of my top strengths are the "Activator and "Arranger." Activators are people exceptionally talented in making things happen by turning thoughts into action while Arrangers can determine how all of the pieces and resources can be arranged for maximum productivity. It led me to develop strategies for self-motivation, ultimately paving the way for the creation of the Daily Motivational Calendar.
Motivational Challenges for both spouses:
Living with an ADHD spouse brings challenges to both partners.
For ADHD spouses, self-motivation on normal mundane tasks could take ten times the energy than non-ADHD spouses. For the Non-ADHD spouse, motivation is needed we often shoulder a large portion of the marriage responsibility, making it very easy for us to lose empathy for our ADHD spouses, when they are struggling every with the simplest of tasks that is super easy for us because it is so automatic for us.
Getting ready in the morning is an excellent example that can effect both spouses. In Susan Pinsky's book Organizing Solutions for People with ADHD, she hits this right on the head,
"For someone with ADHD, even the simplest tasks take much more energy than it takes for others. To shower, get dressed, and get out the door in the morning can require the kind of care and concentration that average people expend over their entire day."
The Need for Holistic Learning:
Apart from each spouse's needs motivation, understanding ADHD requires continuous learning. While I love to read, retaining every piece of information and applying it on the spot when the situation arise with our ADHD spouses becomes a hurdle. For ADHD spouses, who are more challenged with their working memory, it is every harder for them to record good solutions when emotion dysregulation happens.
That could me thinking for a long while on how to help us stay engaged and motivated on good and bad days on our ADHD marriage journey.
The Birth of the Motivational Calendar:
One morning, a lightbulb moment went off. The concept of a desktop motivational calendar emerged—a daily source of motivation, education, and practical reminders. The vision was clear: to create a tool that kickstarts each day with a positive boost, serving as a guide for ADHD couples like us.
Curating Quotes and Tips:
The journey to creating the calendar involved meticulous curation. Selecting 2 sets of 366 unique quotes, facts, and tips related to ADHD couples was no small feat. It demanded revisiting past reads, evaluating applicability, and ensuring the content resonated with both of the two of us. The result? A personalized calendar, gifted to my ADHD spouse and myself last Christmas, now sitting on our nightstand and home office desk, respectively.
Impact on Our Lives:
Almost a year into using the calendar, the impact has been profound. The daily quotes have become a source of positivity, boundary setting, nudging us forward on a daily basis. The daily quote in our respective calendar sparks positive interactions. The success of this tool in our lives prompted its inclusion on this year's holiday gift list.
Extending a Helping Hand:
This isn't just about us—it's a gesture of gratitude and support for the wider ADHD community. Recognizing the challenges that couples face, I've produced a limited quantity of these calendars. They are available to cover production and shipping costs, a to help other ADHD couples to stay motivated and allow them to thrive again.
Pick Up a Calendar Now!
I invite you to grab a calendar for yourselves and your partners. Let's thrive together in this journey of love and understanding.
Check out the calendars here. Use Promo Code: 30%off to get 30% off your purchase through 12/15/2023.
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