I consider myself relatively disciplined, but when it comes to working out, I’m no match for my husband. He has no trouble getting up early and knocking out his workout before taking on the rest of the day. I’ve tried using his routine as motivation by working out with him, but it just doesn’t work for me. However, my struggle to stick with workout plans led to a breakthrough in understanding my spouse and his ADHD. Here’s what I learned:
He’s great at following through, but only on outcomes that genuinely interest him.
He has a strong preference for certain activities, like working out alone rather than with a friend.
Once I grasped these things, I put more effort into figuring out how to make mundane tasks interesting to him so I could achieve the outcomes I wanted. For example, I prefer to have a made bed when I get up; it helps with my mental state, keeping me calm and happy. On the other hand, he doesn’t care about making the bed and would usually leave it messy. I finally explained to him that a made bed helps keep me calm, which makes me happier and more loving toward him. Because he values the positive outcome of me being more loving, he now tries his best every morning to make his side of the bed. A win for him, a win for me.
What strategies have you found helpful in motivating your ADHD spouse to complete tasks? I’d love to hear your thoughts!
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